First, I just want to tell you how much you mean to me. And that’s the problem… you mean more to me than you should. I keep telling myself that we’re just friends, but I think we both know we’re more than that. I’m not exactly sure what I am to you, but you are everything to me. I think about you all the time, every hour of every day. It’s a little ridiculous, to be honest. I am a happily married mother of two, and I should start acting like it.
I’ve really enjoyed our conversations about art and life, but it’s time for me to end this. For a bachelor like you, this is just a fun distraction I’m sure. But for me, it’s so much more, and it really shouldn’t be. What I’m doing with you is not right. I love my husband and my children, so it’s because of them that I need to say goodbye.
I’ll always remember you. : ) And I’ll smile every time I do.
It’s just one or two paragraphs, but I’ve second-guessed every word, have pored over every single sentence, debating whether the right sentiments were expressed. I’ve spent over an hour going over it. Over and over. I’ve read the message more times than I can count. The last thing I want to do is hurt him. He just doesn’t fit into the picture. My picture; John and me, and the kids, and the white picket fence, the perfect life. He should have never been in it. Some days, I wish I’d never met him. Others, I’m so glad I did. For the brief time that I knew him, he truly was one of the best things in my life.
My heart is hammering, threatening to burst as I swallow hard, and finally press on the ‘Send’ arrow. As soon as I do, I feel sick. A heavy weight presses down at the center of my chest, threatening to crush me. I’ve never felt so horrible, so lost.
But it had to be done. I tell myself I’ve done the right thing. For my family. For me. For him.
Our relationship flashes before my eyes — the laughs, the jokes, every single conversation, every wink, every little skip of my heart, his beautiful eyes, and his sweet smile. Damn… his smile.
It all started innocently enough, as these things often do…